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Special
points of interest:
The Holidays are here – How do you want your holidays to be?
Is there room for a change - something new, a redesigned tradition, or
taking time to observe?
Was there a moment this year that you felt truly empowered?
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How do you
want your holidays to be? You may reflect on past Decembers and choose
moments that you would want to recreate. Perhaps it is a time to risk
something new. Can some traditions be released and new ones take their
place? The holidays can be a time of overwhelming activity or a time when
sadness overwhelms you. Take a moment to design your holidays. Reach out
and create significant moments that you will cherish today and tomorrow.
For me,
this Christmas will be different because we have a new addition to the
family. My daughter Krista had a baby in September. While the baby is only
3 months old, he will allow us to create new traditions and remind us of
customs that we want to share with him in years to come. As he surveys the
holiday decorations, listens to the music, and responds to the excitement of
the family gathering, he will smile, and coo, and open his arms to all that
is this Christmas time. What a wonderful perspective – looking up and out
and accepting everything as it is.
I want to
share a recent adventure I had while hiking in Utah this past October.
During a hike in the Sandstone Mountains, I realized that hiking for me was
a metaphor for my life. As I walked along stepping over rocks, trudging
through endless sand, and climbing over boulders, my head was down watching
my footing. I did not want to fall or trip. How embarrassing that would
be! On those brief moments when I stopped to catch my breath, I took a
moment to look around and take in the beautiful views. At the end of the
strenuous climb, I allowed myself a longer pause. At that moment, I was
able to enjoy where I was, see where I had been, and view where I might be
going next. That pause not only replenished me with slower breathing and
refreshing water, but allowed me to acknowledge the work I had done to get
to the summit of the hike. There were moments that I wanted to stop and not
go any farther, but I continued on and I made it! It was exhilarating and
so empowering. I wanted that feeling again and again.
Can you
lift your head up from the tasks of this holiday season and observe where
you are? Pause, breathe, and place yourself in the present by choosing what
you want for this moment. Design a holiday just for you, special in every
way – something old, something new, something borrowed, and something
sparkling for you.
Merry
Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a very Happy New Year to each of you! |
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Personal
growth seems to occur in spurts. We gain a little, lose a little, surge
ahead or slide into a holding pattern where in growth seems to be stagnated.
Here are ten ways to get back on track.
1.
Recognize that growth continues, despite our best efforts to prevent it.
There's a
saying: God's time and mortals' time differ. Nowhere is that more true than
in the area of personal growth. Growth can be likened to fermentation; it
often occurs well below the surface and appears dormant for long periods.
Still, much is going on, if only we have the good sense to realize it. And,
there ARE things we can do to break through the surface layers...
2.
Engage in the process; give up being stuck on the outcome.
We live in
a results-oriented world. That's both good and bad. In the short term, it
enables us to get more done faster. In the long term, however, it conceals a
great life truth: ultimately, ALL is process, and as we engage in the
process and relinquish our obsession with results, the results occur
spontaneously, easily. To be involved fully in the process is to be fully in
the present.
3.
Work on one thing at a time.
High
achievers and type A's pride themselves on their ability to keep several
balls in the air at one time. For many, it works, but there is a price.
Multi-tasking, as it's come to be called, splits your focus, reduces the
energy devoted to any single task and--when the balls mysteriously begin to
get out of control--leaves the serious multi-tasker at a loss for words or
acts. But to work on one thing at a time is tantamount to enjoying the
beauty of a single rose, savoring the clean clear taste of cold spring
water, and feeling the exhilaration of a new day. Single tasking gets the
body and the mind going again, inspires, and invigorates.
4.
Stop thinking, writing, and speaking in the first person.
Here's a
fun exercise. It's called, an “I” inventory and it goes like this. Review
our correspondence file, the letters you've written, and note how often you
begin a sentence with, “I”. Then, pay attention to your conversations with
others. How often do you use that word, “I”? If you journal, take a yellow
(better yet, red) marker and underline every single “I”. All of these are
good measures of your preoccupation with yourself. Try taking a vacation
from the word, “I”. You may find it both refreshing and stimulating.
5.
Realize that it can take great effort to achieve a state of effortless
achievement.
Sounds like
double talk, doesn't it! But it's true. In order to achieve effortlessly,
which is a measure of alignment, you must get beyond concepts that serve as
comfort zones e.g., self-importance, personal involvement, and even
enlightenment. With respect to enlightenment, it's not so much a state to be
achieved as one to be recognized. If you're having trouble with this one,
think of Jesus’ words: Before Abraham was, I am (The Bible, John 8:58).
6.
Look for the lesson in pain.
This is not
a plea for a life of self sacrifice, or an argument that pain is necessary
and good. It's just that sometimes, pain IS. Stopping, taking time to
examine what's really going on in the present state of pain prevents this
all too common emotion from developing into anger, resentment and
disappointments. Looking at pain dispassionately, openly, allows you to
learn the lesson and move ahead.
7.
Let go of your need to have an opinion.
When things
go wrong, friends offend, and our progress seems to be grinding to a halt,
it's natural to have an opinion, to explain and defend. Natural, yes;
understandable, yes; but productive, No! To give up the need to have an
opinion in such instances is to free the mind to receive answers.
8.
Walk away from it.
Years ago,
I was going through a rough time, but was determined to stick with it until
I won out. A friend who sensed my frustration asked if I would tell her
about it. With some hesitation, I told her of the problem, the struggles,
and the seeming lack of progress. She listened patiently and, after I
finished, hesitated a moment, and then said something I'll never forget:
"You know, sometimes wisdom is knowing when to walk away from it." So, when
IS it time to walk away? From a distance of some years now, I would say it's
when the course you are "stubbornly" pursuing is not producing results and
you have no real feeling that it will!
9.
Follow your path rather than your plan.
The
distinction relates to specificity. Paths are often winding, indistinct and
surprising in where they lead. Plans are clear, definite, and designed to
eliminate uncertainty. To follow a path is to be open to discovery, to the
sudden turns that yield joy, insight and challenge. But, to really follow a
path requires courage and a willingness to give up certainty. To follow a
path is to go forward when you can see only a single step ahead, confident
that the next step will appear.
10.
HEAR what is being said.
Have you
ever had a friend offer you some unwelcome advice and preface it with,
"You're not going to want to hear this, but ..." Well, often when new
information comes to us that conflicts with what we know, believe, think, or
want, we DON'T hear it. Even while we're "listening", we're preparing our
replies, defenses and rebuttals. In short, we're blocking our chance to
learn. To "hear", as opposed to simply listening, is to refrain from
judgment, to go beyond the actual words, and to really be open to the
possible lesson that may be lurking just beneath the surface. The difference
between listening and hearing is that, somewhere in between, there's a
filter, and it's usually our resistance to new and sometimes conflicting
information.
Shale
Paul is the author of the above Top Ten List – Thank you Shale for your
insights. |
